A collection of one-liners on the “Battle of the Sexes” contributed by Hoton Elicaño on June 1, 1997 back at the old site
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Yesterday, scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive…
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I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
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It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only SEEMS longer.
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Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was damned near impossible.
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A man complaining to a friend: “I had it all – money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman … and then … POW! it was all gone!” “What happened?,” asked the friend. “Ahhhh … my wife found out…”
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Wife : Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.
Husband : Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
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A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, “Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!” Martha responds excitedly, “Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?” The man responds, “I don’t care … just so long as you’re out of the house by noon…”
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I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months — I don’t like to interrupt her.
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A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.
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If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?